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Sandi Baron

Oh, girlfriend, I am so sad for you. First, know that no one wants to leave their home and go to a nursing home. We have had the same battle with Den's mom for four months. Only this week has she accepted some items from home to make her room more hers than the nursing home. She got so mad at Denny and me. Kicked us out and told us never to return.

We did and she talks to us. She begged and cried for 90 days for Denny to come get her,not treat her like this, not choose to make her unhappy. It was hard on him. We just endured because I had been through this with my mom.

How do you know the time? Sometimes they fall and that gives a natural reason to send them to rehab and then that becomes their new destiny. I kept trying to put myself in her place in 30 years. I brought fresh fruit and tried to take her favorite candy each time we went. At 94 and now diabetic, I made the choice for momentary pleasures. I am on my way to clean out her apartment today. We waited to see if she would miraculously rebound, but she has only declined. After 90 declining is easier than climbing.

I think Hope has reached that point. She can't climb out of bed, climb into clothes, or climb the mental mountain of self existence. Without you there, she would be neglected and die. Granted, she may die within a yr. of going to a rest home , but at least she will be clean, fed, medicated if needed, and have lots of staff to talk to during the day. The law sees
leaving an elderly person uncared for the same as child neglect. That is what clicked....she is a child now. I think you realize the time is now but processing it is so difficult. Blessings to you , my friend.

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