I am a descendant of Carrie Delph. She never knew me, and I
never knew her in the flesh, but I’ve seen pictures; I’ve heard stories; and I
see her flashing eyes and hear her laughter in the faces of my living aunts and
uncles and cousins. She was tough, she was funny, and she was wild in her
heart.
These characteristics please me because, as a woman, it is
nice to know that my gender and my blood line have a predecessor who was the
giver of my own vitality and animated view of the world. It is nice to know
that my adventurous spirit – certainly a gift from my father – has female
connections. (Note: Carrie Delph is my father’s mother.)
Carrie was widowed in her early 20s, left the single mother
of 4 young children. Then she married an older man, the single father of 5
(looking for an adjective here ??) teenagers. Neither birth control nor
assertive women were in vogue at the time, so it is not surprising that Carrie
went on to birth seven more babies.
She lived in a tiny house, plagued with poverty, and yet,
she laughed. She found joy in her children. She bound them together with love
and tied the bundle with strong cords of loyalty. Thin layers of my own life
experience have built up an awareness, understanding, and appreciation of this
loving act of Carrie Delph’s. The bundles she made are unbroken; they have
defied the finality of death and miraculously, they have expanded to embrace
new generations.
Once when I was feeling terribly lonely, I confided in my
father about the pain of solitary isolation. He sympathized, then retorted, “But
you are never truly alone; you are born into a family and you die out of a
family.”
I was in the first stage of self-discovery at the time and
what I was finding in myself did not much resemble what I saw in my immediate
family, so what he said didn’t make much sense to me. Since then, I have
strayed from my family periodically over the years and each time, they let me
go. But always I have returned, and each time I did so, my return was like that
of the prodigal son. Though where I had been and what I had done and seen
changed me, my family remained constant in their warm, welcoming cushion of
absolute love.
And through the years, I have cycled in and out of seasons
of more concentrated self discovery. It’s like a slow motion tumbling through a
cylinder that is my own life journey. It is a magnified and stretched out
version of the birth canal, perhaps, because it is full of the legacy of all
those who lived before me who, in their own genetic, psychic, and spiritual make
up, built for me this canal that my experience is destined to travel.
Now in mid life, I take a moment to view my eclectic,
eccentric, and somewhat exotic collection of experiences, friendships, thoughts
and ideas, and discover comfort and confidence in who I am. I am a descendant of Carrie Delph! I
belong. I belong to the family of Carrie Delph.
Your ideas are really specific, I assist you. I imagine you should be described as a clever man. So I would like to know you.
Posted by: Jordan Retro 8 | July 12, 2010 at 04:54 AM
Thank you Jordan, please feel free to share more!
Posted by: River | July 15, 2010 at 09:15 PM